Dear [you],

One of these days, maybe I'll write letters to people I'm related to who have failed me, in one way or another. I don't want to care; where a lot of people put importance on "family" I feel like the majority of mine has failed to the point where I shouldn't even give them the space in my head or that they shouldn't warrant any feelings, even anger. But that gets hard to do.

Here's what I might write:
"Hi, I'm Cassie. I know we haven't met, because if we had you would know that we're related. And that I'm the "kid" in this situation. And you would know who my brother is, & a hint of what I've had to put up with my whole life. There aren't many pictures of me when I was little, because by the time I came along babies had lost their "new car" appeal & not many people cared enough to come to visit me. Then when we moved back, all attention was on Cory. My memories don't start until 4 or 5; most kids remember 2 or 3. I was forced to go to therapy, just like when Cory was in Big Brother/Big Sisters; I was forced to do things as a side note. "Oh we wouldn't want the other one to feel left out." P.S. Big Sisters was one of the worst experiences of my life. If I ever see Lorraine she better hope she's too old for me to punch her. But maybe they thought I needed that, since there weren't any other real role models in my life [minus mom]. I've felt nothing but indifference, which can be worse than rejection. Right now Cory is rejected, but guess what? That means he gets attention, gets discussed, gets thought of. I don't even get a thought. He's always the center of attention, even when he's not around. I could be standing in a room screaming, & all anyone would say is, "Cory has done worse." The world is lucky I'm not like a lot of people who try to get attention through acting out & causing problems.
I say, "You want to ignore me? Act like I don't exist? Fuck you." You will never be anything to me. It's the way it has to be; I don't have a choice. I didn't do anything. You did, by doing nothing."

I'm sure there's lots of other things I could say, but I always end with a feeling of indifference. Like I said I don't want this to matter. It's sad, but the feeling I have towards most of them is the same I feel towards my father. Some people may ask how, but I don't see how it can't be that way; both have screwed me over so why should I even give them the energy it takes to hold onto anger?

My brother needs his own letter. Another day perhaps.